the wait

at first it seems like such a hassle: getting to the courthouse by 8 the first monday of daylight savings time, especially if you hadn't slept well the night before.
and then it feels like one, as you sardine into the lobby with hundreds of other citizens like you, here because we've been invited to appear and have no good reason to decline, but can find no rhyme nor reason to what is passing for the formation of a line, trapped as we are in front of three glass doors, one of which revolves like the barrel of a gun, discharging lawyers and clerks and courthouse staffers into our midst like clockwork.
fortunately, we're all so sleepy (it sure feels like 7, way too early to be adrift in such a crowd) that we're docile as sheep, no pushing or shoving or Bad Attitude and before we know it, we are in fact part of some kind of line that is in fact moving forward.
some of us make small talk, glad for a distraction. others bury their noses in books or tap away on cellphones.
and then finally we whoosh through the metal detector and elevators and crowd into the grand waiting room to watch the video that lays out what's ahead.
and then we set about the business of the day, which is Waiting.
we try to respect each other's personal space, as if we're here together on the largest airplane in the world, trapped on a runway without a clue as to if it will ever take off.
those who are not summoned eventually get a lunch break. those who are summoned leave by the dozen for various courtrooms.
which is better: to be called and serve? to get inside the courtroom, learn about a case and see up close how the system works? last time, i was an alternate and took the whole thing so seriously i took copious notes on the testimony, eager to be useful once deliberations began.
in the end, i was sent to a waiting room in the basement, to be ready in case anyone got sick, which no one ever did. at first i felt ripped off, as if i'd taken all those notes for nothing. then i learned that the young man was convicted of capital murder, and i was grateful i hadn't had to be part of deliberations.
so today's wait of 7 empty hours was a relief.
i came, was ready to go. but didn't take any notes.